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Family Looking Up

Oct 23, 2018

I am a planner.  When I am entering a new situation, I like to know what is happening, visualize the outcome and plan for all variables,  So, needless to say when I was pregnant with my first child, I PLANNED. I read numerous parenting books and observed what other parents did (and of course, I told myself I would NEVER make the same mistakes they were making).  Well, it turns out that no matter how much planning AND praying I do, these little humans come with their own personalities and ability to choose. I can’t control all aspects of their lives- DANG IT! So even though I had visions of all my kids being great piano players...some are- some are not. I was sure all my kids would be great athletes...some are, some are not.  I put my kids in singing groups to ensure they would be beautiful singers...NONE of them are. And most importantly I wanted my kids to always be kind and obedient...sometimes they are, and a lot of time they are not. Letting go of the “perfect son or daughter” and my “perfect parenting” that I had in my head can be frustrating and disappointing.

In this episode, we talk to Jill Savage.  Jill is the founder of Hearts at Home, a non profit organization that focuses on educating and encouraging moms.  We discuss letting go of that “perfect kid,” ideal and loving our kids for who they are...flaws and all. Here is what we talked about:

  1. The difference between striving for excellence and striving for perfection.
  2. Setting unrealistic expectations.
  3. Indicators/Warning Signs that you are expecting perfection.
  4. What is “Perfection Infection” and how to recognize it.
  5. The antidote for “perfection infection”
  6. Using compassion with your kids.
  7. Ways to show more compassion to your kids.
  8. Using LOVE to combat perfection.
  9. Three steps for “keeping your love on.”
  10. Helping your kids to feel accepted.
  11. The importance of evaluating what you are trying to change in your children.
  12. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you always agree with your child.
  13. Perception is being able to perceive the INDIVIDUAL needs of your kids.
  14. How to know when it’s time to let your child quit and when they should persevere.
  15. How to help kids to see their own unique worth.

Mom Squad Challenge: When you see someone on social media or in person and you start the comparison trap, just say to yourself “she has a backstory I don’t know.”  This will help you to keep proper perspective and to pursue conversations you might not have had otherwise.