Ep. 45. How to Communicate Your Needs- Guest Julie de Azevedo Hanks

Sep 4, 2018

Assertiveness?  Who else is a little afraid of that word?  In this week’s episode, Dr. Julie Hanks talks to us about the value of being assertive and how it is a benefit to both you and your family.  Julie is the owner of Wasatch Family Therapy. She is a licensed therapist and the author of both The Burnout Cure: An Emotional Survival Guide For Overwhelmed Women and The Assertiveness guide for Women: How to communicate your needs, set healthy boundaries and transform your relationships.  If you feel like sometimes your needs aren’t met in your relationships whether it is as a mother, spouse, friend or co-worker, you are going to want to listen to this episode!  Here is what we talked about:

1. What it means to be assertive.
2. Common misconceptions women have about being assertive.
3. How to act on your own needs without feeling selfish.
4. Why it’s important for women to learn to express their needs.
5. The three different communication styles.
6. The “Lantern Stance” style of communication and its benefits.
7. The five skills to improve your assertive communication:
8. Using self-reflection to impact your ability to be assertive in the present.
9. Using self-awareness to understand what you think, feel, want, and need.
10. Self-soothing to connect with your current emotions.
11. Using self-expression to express what you are feeling.
12. Self expansion: allowing yourself to be changed.
13. The importance of modeling proper assertive communication for you family.
14. The value of practicing self-compassion.
15. How to learn to say “no” and be ok with it.
16. Why it’s important to learn to say  “no”.
17. How Julie used the five skills to assertive communication skills to turn a heated discussion into a relationship building experience with her daughter.
18. Learning to be curious in your parenting instead of shameful.

Mom squad Challenge: Practice Self Compassion.  If you’re suffering, treat yourself kindly instead of beating yourself up.  We all have times where we’re feeling something we don’t want to feel. Give yourself a break and tell yourself it is ok.